This is Why Productive People Always Wake Up So Early

Successful people are very often early risers. From Churchill to Obama, from Branson to Darwin, all were known to rise with the morning sun. Whatever their motivations, they all reaped the benefits of putting their feet on the floor before the cock opened its beak.

“Mind over Mattress”

Robin Sharma

But why is rising early such a common trait? What is it about “Mind Over Mattress” that attracts so many famous and successful people to its clutches? Why do they drag their tired bodies to start the day super early when the rest of us are still dreaming?

The Winner’s Mindset

There is a sense of control acquired from beating the inner voice. If your mind wins the battle between victim and success, things start on a high note and usually only get better. Recognizing the voice is your best defense against him. When the alarm goes off and the voice tells you that you went to bed far too late to get up this early, or that five more minutes won’t hurt, DON’T LISTEN! Those who stay in bed won’t be competition for the big guys, but they will have to watch out for you. When you are in charge of the inner voice, there will be no stopping you.

More Time

If you were to get up just one hour earlier each morning you would gain 15 days in a year. Scary when you put it like that. How many days of our lives do we waste sleeping? I don’t know about you, but I have too much I want to achieve to waste my life in this way. If you are time deficient, sleep less. We only need six to seven hours a night. Any more is wasting life.

Get Active

The morning is a great time to exercise. It sets you up for the day with energy, focus, and enthusiasm. Some mornings when I come back from my new habit of running, I feel invincible. Stress has to work a lot harder to get hold of me, and all my relationships are happier and calmer. Exercising in the morning will make you more productive and contribute to making you more successful.

Quiet Time

With three boys in my house, I rarely find quiet time. If I want to meditate or do something undisturbed, I do it early morning. Rising early gives me the time to fit it in. You could also use this time to write, paint, or do something else creative.

Find Your Muse

Many early risers cite increased creativity and inspiration in the morning hours. Great works of art and novels got written in the early hours of the day. So if you have a masterpiece waiting to unfold, maybe rising an hour earlier might unlock the secret.

Time for Food

Breakfast is an important meal that we often neglect due to time constraints. Rushing to work with a bagel isn’t going to give you the energy or focus required to kick ass. By taking more time in the morning, you have have a healthier meal, which will make you more productive and effective.

One Step Ahead

The early risers are one step ahead of the crowd: calm, collected, and accomplished when everyone else is rushing to the office. The early bird has it under control. When you wake up early, you have more time for planning, strategic thinking, and getting organized. You will find you waste less time from being disorganized or making bad decisions. The added benefit of getting to the office first means fewer distractions from colleagues and getting done what you planned to get done.

So if you haven’t already created the habit of early rising, start tomorrow. Go to bed an hour earlier so that you won’t be too tired. It may take a couple of days to adjust and you may not feel the benefit straight away, but stick with it. Millions of super people can’t all be wrong.

Are you an early riser? If so do you have any tips for becoming one?

The Dreaded Terrible 2s!

Around your toddler's second birthday, you may wonder what happened to your adorable, sweet child.
All of a sudden, you may start seeing behaviors like:
Screaming Temper tantrums Kicking and biting Fighting with siblings Total meltdowns It's the "terrible 2s." Your child's behavior is a way of expressing her need for independence, and her frustration at not being in control all the time.
This trying time will pass. In the meantime, deal with meltdowns by being patient but firm and maintaining a consistent routine. Remember, you're the adult.
Your Toddler's Development This Month
Meals aren't always enough to satisfy a hungry toddler, especially a picky eater.
Your child needs 1,000 to 1,200 calories a day. That includes meals and two to three snacks.
Not every snack is equally healthy. Eating too many fatty or sugary treats or drinking more than 4 ounces of juice daily can lead to obesity. Extra-large portions can also be a problem. A toddler-sized snack is only about half a cup of cereal or crackers.
Here are some healthy snack ideas:
Sliced strawberries or apple Whole-wheat crackers Small pieces of cheese Applesauce Low-fat yogurt (watch the added sugar -- some are loaded with it) Half a cup of low-fat milk
Foods that are high in fiber and protein will keep your toddler full, so she won't be begging for another snack an hour later. It's also a good time to start shifting to a lower-fat diet.
Your child is still growing, but not as fast as newborns do, so it's normal for 2-year-olds to not eat quite so much or be a little less interested in eating a variety of foods.
But remember, your child may not accept a new food until she's seen it 10 times. So keep letting your child try new foods, but without pressure. Never turn meal time into a battle.

How Positive Thoughts Build Skills, Boost Health, and Improve Work

Positive thinking sounds useful on the surface. (Most of us would prefer to be positive rather than negative.) But “positive thinking” is also a soft and fluffy term that's easy to dismiss. In the real world, it rarely carries the same weight as words like “work ethic” or “persistence.” But those views may be changing.

Research is beginning to reveal that positive thinking is about much more than just being happy or displaying an upbeat attitude. Positive thoughts can actually create real value in your life and help you build skills that last much longer than a smile. The impact of positive thinking on your work, your health, and your life is being studied by people who are much smarter than me. One of these people is Barbara Fredrickson.

Fredrickson is a positive psychology researcher at the University of North Carolina and she published a landmark paper that provides surprising insights about positive thinking and it’s impact on your skills. Her work is among the most referenced and cited in her field and it is surprisingly useful in everyday life. Let’s talk about Fredrickson’s discovery and what it means for you…
What Negative Thoughts Do to Your Brain

Play along with me for a moment. Let’s say that you’re walking through the forest and suddenly a tiger steps onto the path ahead of you. When this happens, your brain registers a negative emotion—in this case, fear. Researchers have long known that negative emotions program your brain to do a specific action. When that tiger crosses your path, for example, you run. The rest of the world doesn’t matter. You are focused entirely on the tiger, the fear it creates, and how you can get away from it.

In other words, negative emotions narrow your mind and focus your thoughts. At that same moment, you might have the option to climb a tree, pick up a leaf, or grab a stick—but your brain ignores all of those options because they seem irrelevant when a tiger is standing in front of you. This is a useful instinct if you’re trying to save life and limb, but in our modern society we don’t have to worry about stumbling across tigers in the wilderness. The problem is that your brain is still programmed to respond to negative emotions in the same way—by shutting off the outside world and limiting the options you see around you.

For example, when you’re in a fight with someone, your anger and emotion might consume you to the point where you can’t think about anything else. Or, when you are stressed out about everything you have to get done today, you may find it hard to actual start anything because you’re paralyzed by how long your to–do list has become. Or, if you feel bad about not exercising or not eating healthy, all you think about is how little willpower you have, how you’re lazy, and how you don’t have any motivation.

In each case, your brain closes off from the outside world and focuses on the negative emotions of fear, anger, and stress—just like it did with the tiger. Negative emotions prevent your brain from seeing the other options and choices that surround you. It’s your survival instinct.

Now, let’s compare this to what positive emotions do to your brain. This is where Barbara Fredrickson returns to the story.
What Positive Thoughts Do to Your Brain

Fredrickson tested the impact of positive emotions on the brain by setting up a little experiment. During this experiment, she divided her research subjects into 5 groups and showed each group different film clips. The first two groups were shown clips that created positive emotions. Group 1 saw images that created feelings of joy. Group 2 saw images that created feelings of contentment. Group 3 was the control group. They saw images that were neutral and produced no significant emotion. The last two groups were shown clips that created negative emotions. Group 4 saw images that created feelings of fear. Group 5 saw images that created feelings of anger.

Afterward, each participant was asked to imagine themselves in a situation where similar feelings would arise and to write down what they would do. Each participant was handed a piece of paper with 20 blank lines that started with the phrase, “I would like to…” Participants who saw images of fear and anger wrote down the fewest responses. Meanwhile, the participants who saw images of joy and contentment, wrote down a significantly higher number of actions that they would take, even when compared to the neutral group.

In other words, when you are experiencing positive emotions like joy, contentment, and love, you will see more possibilities in your life. These findings were among the first that proved that positive emotions broaden your sense of possibility and open your mind up to more options. But that was just the beginning. The really interesting impact of positive thinking happens later…
How Positive Thinking Builds Your Skill Set

The benefits of positive emotions don’t stop after a few minutes of good feelings subside. In fact, the biggest benefit that positive emotions provide is an enhanced ability to build skills and develop resources for use later in life. Let’s consider a real world example.

A child who runs around outside, swinging on branches and playing with friends, develops the ability to move athletically (physical skills), the ability to play with others and communicate with a team (social skills), and the ability to explore and examine the world around them (creative skills). In this way, the positive emotions of play and joy prompt the child to build skills that are useful and valuable in everyday life.

These skills last much longer than the emotions that initiated them. Years later, that foundation of athletic movement might develop into a scholarship as a college athlete or the communication skills may blossom into a job offer as a business manager. The happiness that promoted the exploration and creation of new skills has long since ended, but the skills themselves live on. Fredrickson refers to this as the “broaden and build” theory because positive emotions broaden your sense of possibilities and open your mind, which in turn allows you tobuild new skills and resources that can provide value in other areas of your life.

As we discussed earlier, negative emotions do the opposite. Why? Because building skills for future use is irrelevant when there is immediate threat or danger (like the tiger on the path). All of this research begs the most important question of all: if positive thinking is so useful for developing valuable skills and appreciating the Big Picture of life, how do you actually get yourself to be positive?
How to Increase Positive Thinking in Your Life

What you can do to increase positive emotions and take advantage of the “broaden and build” theory in your life? Well, anything that sparks feelings of joy, contentment, and love will do the trick. You probably know what things work well for you. Maybe it’s playing the guitar. Maybe it’s spending time with a certain person. Maybe it’s carving tiny wooden lawn gnomes.

That said, here are three ideas for you to consider…

1. Meditation: Recent research by Fredrickson and her colleagues has revealed that people who meditate daily display more positive emotions that those who do not. As expected, people who meditated also built valuable long–term skills. For example, three months after the experiment was over, the people who meditated daily continued to display increased mindfulness, purpose in life, social support, and decreased illness symptoms.

Note: If you’re looking for an easy way to start meditation, here is a 10–minute guided meditationthat was recently sent to me. Just close your eyes, breathe, and follow along.

2. Writing: This study, published in the Journal of Research in Personality, examined a group of 90 undergraduate students who were split into two groups. The first group wrote about an intensely positive experience each day for three consecutive days. The second group wrote about a control topic. Three months later, the students who wrote about positive experiences had better mood levels, fewer visits to the health center, and experienced fewer illnesses. (This blew me away. Better health after just three days of writing about positive things!)

Note: I used to be very erratic in my writing, but now I publish a new article every Monday and Thursday. I’ve written more about my writing process and how you can stick to your goals inthis article and this article.

3. Play: Schedule time to play into your life. We schedule meetings, conference calls, weekly events, and other responsibilities into our daily calendars… why not schedule time to play?

When was the last time you blocked out an hour on your calendar just to explore and experiment? When was the last time you intentionally carved out time to have fun? You can’t tell me that being happy is less important than your Wednesday meeting, and yet, we act like it is because we never give it a time and space to live on our calendars. Give yourself permission to smile and enjoy the benefits of positive emotion. Schedule time for play and adventure so that you can experience contentment and joy, and explore and build new skills.
Happiness vs. Success: Which Comes First?

There’s no doubt that happiness is the result of achievement. Winning a championship, landing a better job, finding someone you love — these things will bring joy and contentment to your life. But so often, we wrongly assume that this means happiness always follows success.

How often have you thought, “If I just get ___, then I’ll be set.”

Or, “Once I achieve ___, I’ll be satisfied.”

I know I’m guilty of putting off happiness until I achieve some arbitrary goal. But as Fredrickson’s “broaden and build” theory proves, happiness is essential to building the skills that allow for success. In other words, happiness is both the precursor to success and the result of it.

In fact, researchers have often noticed a compounding effect or an “upward spiral” that occurs with happy people. They are happy, so they develop new skills, those skills lead to new success, which results in more happiness, and the process repeats itself.
Where to Go From Here

Positive thinking isn’t just a soft and fluffy feel–good term. Yes, it’s great to simply “be happy,” but those moments of happiness are also critical for opening your mind to explore and build the skills that become so valuable in other areas of your life. Finding ways to build happiness and positive emotions into your life—whether it is through meditation, writing, playing a pickup basketball game, or anything else—provides more than just a momentary decrease in stress and a few smiles.

Periods of positive emotion and unhindered exploration are when you see the possibilities for how your past experiences fit into your future life, when you begin to develop skills that blossom into useful talents later on, and when you spark the urge for further exploration and adventure. To put it simply: seek joy, play often, and pursue adventure. Your brain will do the rest.

When You're in a Bad Mood

When you're feeling cranky or upset, it might feel like the worst time to tackle a problem or do something creative. A study by the British Psychological Society implies that may not be the case.

The researchers found, while examining 100 creative professionals, that those who were in bad moods at the start of the day were be more persistent in trying to find a solution to problems. Being cranky at the start might suck, but once you've begun, that energy and momentum can keep you going even when your mood has long-since simmered. Or, to put it more science-y:

The narrow, alert focus on issues can be useful by focusing on things that are in need of a solution and spurring motivation to act on these; previous research does suggest that negative emotion can lead to more persistence in problem solving. Once this focus has been set, allowing the negative emotions to slide away and positive emotions to explore the possibility space is a good recipe for getting to innovative solutions.

Of course, doing things to upset yourself for no other reason than to be in a bad mood won't help, but next time you find yourself frustrated or angry, find a way to funnel that energy into something productive or creative.

26 Steps to Living a Life You Love

Have you dreamed of doing something big with your life? Are you longing to find your passion — something that makes you come alive? We all want to live a passionate, purposeful life, but most people have no idea how to go about doing that. How do you know what your passion is or if you’ve chosen the right path? How do you recreate the life you have now to build the amazing life you want to have? There are so many considerations, decisions and potential roadblocks.

However, finding and living your life passion is one of the most important endeavors you will ever undertake. Once you are living your passion, the quality of your life will improve dramatically. When you are doing something you love — something you feel deeply engaged in — everything feels easier and more joyful.

There is a process to uncovering your passion and living your passion. It isn’t hard, but it does take commitment, patience, and tenacity. There are many practical considerations in addition to the research and experimentation required in figuring out exactly what is the best fit for you.

But don’t be disheartened, because it is so worth it. And once you make the decision to work toward your passion, you’ll find the daily actions you take to get there offer so much satisfaction on their own. When you know a great outcome is ahead, the work to reach that outcome doesn’t really feel like work.

Let’s look at some of the actions you can take to get the ball rolling.Preparation

1. Write a vision. Write down exactly what you want your life to look like at the end of this process, in every area of your life. Post the vision where you can see it every day. You can revise it along the way if you want.

2. Examine your current life. You’ve been focused on what you don’t like about your life, but examine your current life to see how much of it matches your vision. You want to maintain those things and remember that part of your vision is already happening.

3. Define your values. Make sure you’re clear on your core values for your life. Every decision you make about your passion and how you want your life to look should support or reflect those values. Here’s a list of 400 value words.

4. What are you tolerating? What in your current life are you just tolerating? What drains your energy or constantly bugs you? Start addressing these things one by one to make room for the new, good stuff coming your way.

5. Get rid clutter. Not only physical clutter but the clutter of too many distractions, activities and commitments that suck your time and energy.

6. Refine your relationships. Look at all of your close relationships, both personal and professional. Are there any that drain you, upset you, or cause you problems? How can you release these people or change your relationship with them to make room for important, new relationships?

7. Make an appointment. Set a daily or thrice weekly appointment with yourself to work on your life passion actions. If you don’t set aside the time for the work, you will never reach your goal. Make it non-negotiable.

8. Communicate. Talk with the people in your life who need to know what you are working toward. If your passion is threatening to a spouse or loved one, provide assurances that you are planning carefully. You will need their buy-in and support.
Finances

9. Save money. Begin putting money aside in a savings account. You may need this as you transition toward your new life — for education, to get a business started, or to sustain you financially as you transition.

10. Decide your income. Determine your lowest acceptable yearly income. To do this, you will need to know how you spend your money, where you can cut back, and how long you are willing to live at this income level.

11. Find other income streams. Start thinking about ways you can bring in extra cash in a pinch. Even if you transition from one full-time job to another, it’s always good to have a back-up plan.
Research

12. Start reading. Read everything you can about your passion or passions. Look at how other people have translated that passion into a career. Make notes about anything that seems interesting or relevant to you.

13. Refine your search. As you begin reading and researching, you may find one or more career options that jump out at you. Deepen your research on those topics to find out exactly what kind of education is needed, who is already successful in this area, what kind of salary you could make, how long it would take to become proficient in this area.

14. Find a mentor. Find one or two people who are doing what you want to do and doing it well. Connect with them. Send an email to ask for their advice. Make a list of questions you want to ask.

15. Refine further. As you learn some of the specifics of making a profit from your passion, do more research on what needs to be done to take those actions. This may be an on-going process as you are learning or transitioning.

16. Take some assessments. Whether or not you are pursuing self-employment or working in a team environment, it’s useful to take a career personality test, an entrepreneurial aptitude test, and an emotional intelligence test. These will help you see where you might run into difficulties and what you are most well-suited for. You can find many of these free online. Here’s an entrepreneur assessment and an emotional intelligence assessment.
Transition

17. Take action. Taking the first real action toward your dream is scary. It might be signing up for a course, taking out a loan, volunteering, or buying an instrument. This is the first action that says to you, “I’m committed to changing my life.” You may not feel 100% sure that your first step is the right step, but you have to take it to find out. So set a date and take it.

18. Brainstorm and write. Think about all of the possible action steps you will need to take to get you from here to there (once you have done your research). Make one big long list, then go back and prioritize and order the list. Break down each action step into the smallest possible steps.

19. Set up a calendar. Start building your planning calendar by assigning the above action steps to specific days or weeks. Allow yourself time for setbacks, interruptions, or changes.

20. Keep communicating. Remember to keep those close to you involved and in the loop. You may meet some resistance. Think ahead about this possibility and how you will handle it. What is the bottom line for you? For them? Keep the lines of communication open.

21. Decide about your current job. Be sure to include as part of your action steps how you will move from your current job into your new one. Will you continue working at your old job as you start your new work? How and when will you discuss this with your employer? Be sure to leave on a good note and handle things professionally so you can maintain those ties.
The Process

22. Stay financially prepared. Depending on what you are doing, you may not bring in much money at the beginning of a new career. If you’ve done your planning, you are prepared with savings and/or extra income streams. Keep an emergency fund available and a list of contacts for extra work if necessary.

23. Juice up your motivation. It is natural when you move from something safe and secure to the unknown to feel fear and lose motivation at times. Stay on top of that by reading motivational books or listening to audiobooks. Continue to research and read about successful people in your field.

24. Expect setbacks. Count on setbacks happening several times during the process of putting your passion to work. The path isn’t linear. You will have bumps in the road. If you accept that from the get-go, it won’t be a surprise when it happens.

25. Take daily action. Thinking, planning, fretting, and pontificating only go so far. Only daily, focused action will move you forward. If you don’t know what to do, just do something.

26. Enjoy yourself! You are working toward something amazing — the life you are creating. This is your heart’s desire, and although you haven’t reached it yet, every action you take is carrying you closer. Relish each and every action, because the process can be just as exciting as the end result.
Final Thoughts

Remember, uncovering your passion and making it real in your life is a process. Continue to take daily action toward your dream, refining and shifting as you learn more about yourself and deal with the natural challenges that are inherent in any life change. Keep your vision of a passionate life in the forefront of your mind, and before you know it, you will wake up one day and realize your are living your dream.
Your turn…

What life passion do you dream about? What do you want to spend more time doing with your life? Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

Ten Lies You’ll Hear Before Pursuing Your Dream

Unfortunately, just before you take your first step on the righteous journey to pursue your dreams, people around you, even the ones who deeply care for you, will give you awful advice. It’s not because they have evil intentions. It’s because they don’t understand the big picture—what your dreams, passions, and life goals mean to you. They don’t understand that, to you, the reward is worth the risk.

So they try to protect you by shielding you from the possibility of failure, which, in effect, also shields you from the possibility of making your dreams a reality.

As our friend Steve Jobs says:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Here are ten ill-advised tips (lies) people will likely tell you when you decide to pursue your dreams and the reasons why they are dreadfully mistaken:

1. You can follow your dreams someday, but right now you need to buckle down and be responsible.

Someday? When is ”someday”? “Someday” is not a day at all. It’s a foggy generalization of a time that will likely never come. Today is the only day guaranteed to you. Today is the only day you can begin to make a difference in your life. And pursuing your dreams is what life is all about. So don’t be irresponsible. Don’t wait until “someday.” Make today the first day of the rest of your new life.

2. You’re totally screwed if it doesn’t work out.

Wrong! This is a giant, lame load of BS. You’re not even close to being screwed. In fact, the worst case scenario is that things don’t work out and you have to go back to doing exactly what you are doing right now.

3. It’s safer to stay at your day job.

Sure, I suppose. But you know what’s even safer than that? Going home, locking yourself in your bedroom, and never, ever coming out. And just like that, you will have flushed your entire life and your dreams down the toilet. Remember, safer doesn’t always mean better.

4. That’s impossible!

It’s only impossible if you never do anything about it. The reason certain things seem impossible is simply because nobody has achieved them yet. But this doesn’t mean that with your help these things won’t become possible in the future. If you truly dedicate yourself to an end result, almost anything is possible. You just have to want it bad enough.

5. Only a lucky few “make it.”

That’s because those lucky few got off their rear ends and did something about it! They had the drive, determination, and willpower that you have right now. You can be one of them. It’s up to you, and only you.

6. You might fail. And failing is bad.

Failures are simply stepping stones to success. No matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something: win–win. The biggest mistake you can make is doing nothing because you’re too scared to make a mistake. If you can’t handle failure, then you can’t handle success either.

7. You don’t have access to the right resources.

It’s not about having the right resources; it’s about exploiting the resources you do have access to. Stevie Wonder couldn’t see, so he exploited his sense of hearing into a passion for music, and he now has twenty-five Grammy Awards to prove it. Get it?

8. You need more money saved before you can take the first step.

You don’t need more money. You need a plan. You need a budget. Eliminate ALL the nonessential costs in your life. If pursuing your dream requires you to leave your day job, figure out the absolute minimum amount of income that you realistically require to live. Studying those who have succeeded with similar ventures also helps. But above all, take baby steps. Don’t be foolish and assume that you must have a certain amount of money saved right now, or that you must quit your day job today in order to pursue your dreams. Instead, ask yourself, “What actions can I take right now with the money and resources I have right now that will bring me closer to desired goal?”

9. You don’t need any help. It’s smarter to go after it alone.

You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with. If you hang with the wrong people, they will negatively affect you. But if you hang with the right people, you will be far more capable and powerful than you ever could have been alone. Find your tribe and work together to make a difference in all of your lives.

10. That sounds like a lot of hard work.

You’re darn right it does! But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. I think success in life hinges on one key point: finding hard work you love doing. As long as you remain true to yourself and follow your own interests, values, and dreams, you can find success through passion. Perhaps most importantly, you won’t wake up a few years from now working in a career field you despise, wondering, How the heck am I going to do this for the next thirty years? So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re onto something big. Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions and dreams.

Disregard these misguided bits of nonsense and you’ll be well on your way to fulfilling your dreams. Now get out there and make a splash!

Ten Lies You’ll Hear Before Pursuing Your Dream provided by DivineCaroline.com.

12 Things Successful People Do Differently

I’ve always been fascinated by people who are consistently successful at what they do; especially those who experience repeated success in many areas of their life throughout their lifetime. In entertainment, I think of Clint Eastwood and Oprah Winfrey. In business, I think of Steve Jobs and Warren Buffett. We all have our own examples of super successful people like these who we admire. But how do they do it?

Over the years I’ve studied the lives of numerous successful people. I’ve read their books, watched their interviews, researched them online, etc. And I’ve learned that most of them were not born into success; they simply did, and continue to do, things that help them realize their full potential. Here are twelve things they do differently that the rest of us can easily emulate.
1. They create and pursue S.M.A.R.T. goals.

Successful people are objective. They have realistic targets in mind. They know what they are looking for and why they are fighting for it. Successful people create and pursue S.M.A.R.T. goals.

S.M.A.R.T. goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. Let’s briefly review each:
Specific – A general goal would be, “Get in shape.” But a related specific goal would be, “Join a health club and workout 3 days a week for the next52 weeks.” A specific goal has a far greater chance of being accomplished because it has defined parameters and constraints.
Measurable – There must be a logical system for measuring the progress of a goal. To determine if your goal is measurable, ask yourself questions like: How much time? How many total? How will I know when the goal is accomplished? etc. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued efforts required to reach your goal.
Attainable – To be attainable, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. In other words, the goal must be realistic. The big question here is: How can the goal be accomplished?
Relevant – Relevance stresses the importance of choosing goals that matter. For example, an internet entrepreneur’s goal to “Make 75 tuna sandwiches by 2:00PM.” may be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, and Timely, but lacks Relevance to an entrepreneurs overarching objective of building a profitable online business.
Timely – A goal must be grounded within a time frame, giving the goal a target date. A commitment to a deadline helps you focus your efforts on the completion of the goal on or before the due date. This part of the S.M.A.R.T. goal criteria is intended to prevent goals from being overtaken by daily distractions.

When you identify S.M.A.R.T. goals that are truly important to you, you become motivated to figure out ways to attain them. You develop the necessary attitude, abilities, and skills. You can achieve almost any goal you set if you plan your steps wisely and establish a time frame that allows you to carry out those steps. Goals that once seemed far away and out of reach eventually move closer and become attainable, not because your goals shrink, but because you grow and expand to match them.
2. They take decisive and immediate action.

Sadly, very few people ever live to become the success story they dream about. And there’s one simple reason why:

They never take action!

The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing. Growing happens when what you know changes how you live. So many people live in a complete daze. Actually, they don’t ‘live.’ They simply ‘get by’ because they never take the necessary action to make things happen – to seek their dreams.

It doesn’t matter if you have a genius IQ and a PhD in Quantum Physics, you can’t change anything or make any sort of real-world progress without taking action. There’s a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it. Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action. It’s as simple as that.

Success hinges on the simple act of making a decision to live – to absorb yourself in the process of going after your dreams and goals. So make that decision. And take action. For some practical guidance on taking action I highly recommend Getting Things Done.
3. They focus on being productive, not being busy.

In his book, The 4-Hour Workweek, Tim Ferris says, “Slow down and remember this: Most things make no difference. Being busy is often a form of mental laziness – lazy thinking and indiscriminate action.” This is Ferris’ way of saying “work smarter, not harder,” which happens to be one of the most prevalent modern day personal development clichés. But like most clichés, there’s a great deal of truth to it, and few people actually adhere to it.

Just take a quick look around. The busy outnumber the productive by a wide margin.

Busy people are rushing all over the place, and running late half of the time. They’re heading to work, conferences, meetings, social engagements, etc. They barely have enough free time for family get-togethers and they rarely get enough sleep. Yet, business emails are shooting out of their smart phones like machine gun bullets, and their daily planner is jammed to the brim with obligations.

Their busy schedule gives them an elevated sense of importance. But it’s all an illusion. They’re like hamsters running on a wheel.

The solution: Slow down. Breathe. Review your commitments and goals. Put first things first. Do one thing at a time. Start now. Take a short break in two hours. Repeat.

And always remember, results are more important than the time it takes to achieve them.
4. They make logical, informed decisions.

Sometimes we do things that are permanently foolish simply because we are temporarily upset or excited.

Although emotional ‘gut instincts’ are effective in certain fleeting situations, when it comes to generating long-term, sustained growth in any area of life, emotional decisions often lead a person astray. Decisions driven by heavy emotion typically contain minimal amounts of conscious thought, and are primarily based on momentary feelings instead of mindful awareness.

The best advice here is simple: Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence. Slow down and think things through before you make any life-changing decisions.
5. They avoid the trap of trying to make things perfect.

Many of us are perfectionists in our own right. I know I am at times. We set high bars for ourselves and put our best foot forward. We dedicate copious amounts of time and attention to our work to maintain our high personal standards. Our passion for excellence drives us to run the extra mile, never stopping, never relenting. And this dedication towards perfection undoubtedly helps us achieve results… So long as we don’t get carried away.

But what happens when we do get carried away with perfectionism?

We become disgruntled and discouraged when we fail to meet the (impossibly high) standards we set for ourselves, making us reluctant to take on new challenges or even finish tasks we’ve already started. Our insistence on dotting every ‘I’ and crossing every ‘T’ breeds inefficiency, causing major delays, stress overload and subpar results.

True perfectionists have a hard time starting things and an even harder time finishing them, always. I have a friend who has wanted to start a graphic design business for several years. But she hasn’t yet. Why? When you sift through her extensive list of excuses it comes down to one simple problem: She is a perfectionist. Which means she doesn’t, and never will, think she’s good enough at graphic design to own and operate her own graphic design business.

Remember, the real world doesn’t reward perfectionists. It rewards people who get things done. And the only way to get things done is to be imperfect 99% of the time. Only by wading through years of practice and imperfection can we begin to achieve momentary glimpses of the perfection. So make a decision. Take action, learn from the outcome, and repeat this method over and over again in all walks of life. Also, check out Too Perfect. It’s an excellent read on conquering perfectionism.
6. They work outside of their comfort zone.

The number one thing I persistently see holding smart people back is their own reluctance to accept an opportunity simply because they don’t think they’re ready. In other words, they feel uncomfortable and believe they require additional knowledge, skill, experience, etc. before they can aptly partake in the opportunity. Sadly, this is the kind of thinking that stifles personal growth and success.

The truth is nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow emotionally and intellectually. They force us to stretch ourselves and our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first. And when we don’t feel comfortable, we don’t feel ready.

Significant moments of opportunity for personal growth and success will come and go throughout your lifetime. If you are looking to make positive changes and new breakthroughs in your life, you will need to embrace these moments of opportunity even though you will never feel 100% ready for them.
7. They keep things simple.

Leonardo da Vinci once said, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. Here in the 21st century, where information moves at the speed of light and opportunities for innovation seem endless, we have an abundant array of choices when it comes to designing our lives and careers. But sadly, an abundance of choice often leads to complication, confusion and inaction.

Several business and marketing studies have shown that the more product choices a consumer is faced with, the less products they typically buy. After all, narrowing down the best product from a pool of three choices is certainly a lot easier than narrowing down the best product from a pool of three hundred choices. If the purchasing decision is tough to make, most people will just give up. Likewise, if you complicate your life by inundating yourself with too many choices, your subconscious mind will give up.

The solution is to simplify. If you’re selling a product line, keep it simple. And if you’re trying to make a decision about something in your life, don’t waste all your time evaluating every last detail of every possible option. Choose something that you think will work and give it a shot. If it doesn’t work out, learn what you can from the experience, choose something else and keep pressing forward.
8. They focus on making small, continuous improvements.

Henry Ford once said, “Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small pieces.” The same concept configured as a question: How do you eat an elephant? Answer: One bite at a time. This philosophy holds true for achieving your biggest goals. Making small, positive changes – eating a little healthier, exercising a little, creating some small productive habits, for example – is an amazing way to get excited about life and slowly reach the level of success you aspire to.

And if you start small, you don’t need a lot of motivation to get started either. The simple act of getting started and doing something will give you the momentum you need, and soon you’ll find yourself in a positive spiral of changes – one building on the other. When I started doing this in my life, I was so excited I had to start this blog to share it with the world.

Start with just one activity, and make a plan for how you will deal with troubles when they arise. For instance, if you’re trying to lose weight, come up with a list of healthy snacks you can eat when you get the craving for snacks. It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier. And that’s the whole point. As your strength grows, you can take on bigger challenges.
9. They measure and track their progress.

Successful people are not only working in their job/business, they are also working on it. They step back and assess their progress regularly. They track themselves against their goals and clearly know what needs to be done to excel and accelerate.

You can’t control what you don’t properly measure. If you track the wrong things you’ll be completely blind to potential opportunities as they appear over the horizon. Imagine if, while running a small business, you made it a point to keep track of how many pencils and paperclips you used. Would that make any sense? No! Because pencils and paperclips are not a measure of what’s important for a business. Pencils and paperclips have no bearing on income, customer satisfaction, market growth, etc.

The proper approach is to figure out what your number one goal is and then track the things that directly relate to achieving that goal. I recommend that you take some time right now to identify your number one goal, identify the most important things for you to keep track of, and then begin tracking them immediately. On a weekly basis, plug the numbers into a spreadsheet and use the data to create weekly or monthly trend graphs so you can visualize your progress. Then fine-tune your actions to get those trends to grow in your favor.
10. They maintain a positive outlook as they learn from their mistakes.

Successful people concentrate on the positives – they look for the silver lining in every situation. They know that it is their positivity that will take them to greatness. If you want to be successful, you need to have a positive outlook toward life. Life will test you again and again. If you give in to internal negativity, you will never be able to achieve the marks you have targeted.

Remember, every mistake you make is progress. Mistakes teach you important lessons. Every time you make one, you’re one step closer to your goal. The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.

So don’t hesitate – don’t doubt yourself! Don’t let your own negativity sabotage you. Learn what you can and press forward.
11. They spend time with the right people.

Successful people associate with people who are likeminded, focused, and supportive. They socialize with people who create energy when they enter the room versus those who create energy when they leave. They reach out to connected, influential individuals who are right for their dreams and goals.

You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with. If you hang with the wrong people, they will negatively affect you. But if you hang with the right people, you will become far more capable and successful than you ever could have been alone. Find your tribe and work together to make a difference in all of your lives. Tribes by Seth Godin is a great read on this topic.
12. They maintain balance in their life.

If you ask most people to summarize what they want out of life they’ll shout out a list of things like: ‘fall in love,’ ‘make money,’ ‘spend time with family,’ ‘find happiness,’ ‘achieve goals,’ etc. But sadly, a lot of people don’t balance their life properly to achieve these things. Typically they’ll achieve one or two of them while completely neglecting the rest. Let me give you two examples:
I know an extremely savvy businesswoman who made almost a million dollars online last year. Based on the success of her business, every entrepreneur I know looks up to her. But guess what? A few days ago, out of the blue, she told me that she’s depressed. Why? “I’m burnt out and lonely. I just haven’t taken enough time for myself lately, and I feel like something is missing in my life,” she said. “Wow!” I thought. “One of the most successful people I know doesn’t feel successful because she isn’t happy with how she has balanced her life.”
I also know a surfer who surfs all day, every day on the beach in front of our condo complex in San Diego. He’s one of the most lighthearted, optimistic guys I’ve ever met – usually smiling from ear to ear. But he sleeps in a rusty van he co-owns with another surfer, and they both frequently panhandle tourists for money. He has admitted to me that the stress of making enough money to eat often keeps him up at night. So while I can’t deny that this man seems happy most of the time, I wouldn’t classify his life as a success story.

These are just two simple examples of imbalanced lifestyles that are holding people back from their full potential. When you let your work life (or social life, family life, etc.) consume you, and all your energy is focused in that area, it’s extremely easy to lose your balance. While drive and focus are important, if you’re going to get things done right, and be truly successful, you need to balance the various dimensions of your life. Completely neglecting one dimension for another only leads to long-term frustration and stress. For some practical guidance on balancing your life,

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.


Here are some ideas to get you started:
Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.
Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Addictions

We think of glazed eyes and emaciated bodies, skin that looks bruised and old and minds that cannot be reached. We think of lost souls and it makes us afraid to trust anything, even life itself. So what is an addiction? Is it a very specific craving that grows to occupy its host entirely or is it much more than that?
Let’s take the word off the shelf and examine it. Perhaps getting to know it might help to lessen the fear and we operate more efficiently with less fear. The first thing we realize when we hold 'addiction' towards the light is that we all suffer from it in some form or another. This is the big picture view of addiction and like all big pictures it offers much needed perspective. This is a gross liberty, you say. Presumptuous and possibly libelous. But check it out. What drives us? What lies behind our most persistent desires?
Addiction is not only about substance abuse. It is true that addiction attracts the most attention in our society when it concerns illegal substances but addiction is subtler than that. Much has been written about the more blatant aspects of addiction with the principal focus on drugs, alcohol, Sexual, Negative relationships and smoking but we humans can get addicted to anything. Addiction implies addictive behavior and addictive behavior can develop around activities like Praying, Reading, eating, gym, work, relationships and people.

We can be addicted to ideas and mindsets and ideologies and moods. All of this goes relatively unnoticed but any and all of it can have negative effects. Take this story for example. Ahamed’s brother is addicted to Alcohol. Ahamed watches as his brother Drinks Everyday day. He patches the bruises and puts his brother back together and takes him by the shoulders and says firmly: "No more, brother. No more." But he knows it’s wrong and because that he’s not going to gain anything But his brother feels he cannot stop. His addiction makes him blind. Now he is fighting his family and his family is now fuelled by an aching emptiness that needs filling. This is the psychology of addiction, but it is also the spirituality of addiction.
If your teen has a serious addiction that needs your immediate attention, call in everyone who is anyone in the field of drug rehabilitation. Listen to everyone and then get help from the school of thought that sounds the most like truth to you. At this stage, action is required and there is plenty of advice out there on what kind of action to use. This is not what I have chosen to focus on.
I am looking at the causes of addiction because I am a great believer in that old saying: prevention is better than cure. I believe that if we can go deep and try to understand the mechanics of addiction we can be most useful as parents when our children have to deal with their own.

Teenagers are such vulnerable new adults. They are only just beginning to learn about the great longings that haunt us humans. Sometimes these longings are too poignant to be expressed and they become perverted into addictions that lead us badly astray. I believe that if you are to really treat addictions you cannot forget this that lies at the root of it all. This knowledge should color every other practical action you may have to take to save your child's life. Save our future generation.

The important things in life

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”